Media is commonly known to be the culprit in pressuring people to maintain and impossible image of perfection. Most American households have access to the internet, or at least a television set, so it is nearly impossible to not succumb to the influences of the media. In a 50-person survey, 100% of men and woman said that they commonly use the internet and watch television. Seventeen out of fifty of those people said that they have felt pressured to mimic the stereotypes portrayed by the media in their dating habits; 13 women and 4 men. To look at the way dating is presented to the public, I bought a seemingly countless number of magazines.
The first magazine I looked at was Cosmopolitan, a publication for women. Without even opening the magazine, I am already able to determine the target audience and the strong emphasis the magazine places on sex and beauty. These words, or words associated with them, are commonly in the largest font and often bolded or italicized to draw the reader's attention. Women that are featured on the cover are often conventionally beautiful sex-pots (ex: Kim Kardashian, Fergie, etc.). As I open the pages of almost 30 Cosmo magazines, I am assaulted by ads and articles about beauty and fashion. Images of women with large boobs, nice butts, and tiny waists are plastered all over. Sometimes I found a Dove campaign that features thicker women advocating "real beauty." Although not surprisingly, many of these fashion articles talk about looks to flatter their bodies. The "date looks" they offered commonly lacked class and refinement; think skirts and shiny tank tops that scream to men, "look at me!" I read Cosmo on the regular, so I am not slamming the magazine by any means, but it is peculiar how the "date" look seems to be more promiscuous than the looks associated with "going out with the girls." These images could easily pressure women to try to be perfect and beautiful when trying to meet or converse with men; and if not, the implication is that you will not ever have a men. The sex articles (featured in the love section??) are almost disturbing. One example is how it says a man would love if you offered to do the laundry or give him a blow job. It strongly emphasizes the euphoria men feel during orgasm and how you should constantly strive to please him. Sometimes it gives advice on how to try and achieve an orgasm for women, but generally it talks about having "hot, dirty sex" with them. All the sex talk implies that men will not think of you as someone they want to be with unless you give it up and you're good at it. One can see how these portrayals could cause women to confuse love with lust in dating situations.
The second magazine I looked at was Maxim, a highly popular men's magazine (for the articles?). Once again, looking at the cover instantly is a dead give away for who they are trying to appeal to. The buxom women on the front are scantily clad, with their bodies misted with water to appear sweaty, hair down. Many men do not argue that these images are nice to look at, but they often don't associate these women with what they are looking for in a companion. Obviously for women, if these are the images men are exposed to and the images that men think are sexy, you want to mimic them for your boyfriend or potential boyfriend. Ultimately, Maxim is the male Cosmopolitan. Stereotypes run rampant in both articles and ad campaigns.
The last magazine I read was Seventeen magazine, targeted towards young women in their teens. There are not nearly as many sexually suggestive articles and photos in the magazine as their are in Cosmopolitan. In fact, it emphasizes the dangers of sex and the precautions you should take. It discusses the pressures a boyfriend or interest may put on you, and it talks about ways to say "no" and talks about prevention if you want to be sexually active. It always talks about how if you are interested in a guy, you can take the initiative. You can send cute texts, go to movies and dinner, etc. It discusses the art of flirting pre-dating and the art of flirting while you are dating to keep things fresh. Nothing too x-rated by any means. The images of women are wholesome, often clothed in cute and conservative looks, and are fresh-faced.
The images are so confusing because for women, it seems like in your teens you should be wholesome and youthful yet pretty, but once you're in your twenties, you need to be a sex kitten ready to pounce on any guy that comes your way in the dating world. It is all very misleading and confusing, and clearly maintaining the image of being the good girl with an edge is hard. Men are under the same kind of pressure. They are being cultivated to be lustful, careless dogs, and yet many of them are struggling with wanting to just settle down with a good girl. The media throws out so many images, but they all conflict with one another. It's hard for women and men to really own their personality and sexuality, and the media does not help but cause more confusion.
-A. Merchant
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